People ask me all the time “what is coaching?” Coaching is nothing more than filling the gap between where you are and where you want to be with your goals and your values in mind.
In business there are gaps in terms of being a good manager, being a good leader, or being able to manage your workload. There are gaps in terms of being a father, a husband, and a friend.
There are gaps that we’re aware of and gaps we’re unaware of. For example, if I say I value honesty but I cheat on my taxes, it violates what I hold dear. I might subconsciously justify cheating on my taxes because I need the money or I don’t see it as being dishonest. And I might be completely unaware that I’m dishonoring my values.
Sometimes people are too close to the problem to recognize it. They need an outsider’s perspective to point it out to them.
After I become aware of the problem, one of two things has to be true: either I don’t value honesty as high as I said or I’m going to stop cheating on my taxes. Coaching makes us aware of what we’re not able to see in ourselves.
For anyone to say they don’t have a gap is intellectually dishonest. We all have gaps and something will always fill the gap. It gets filled with either darkness or light. Our basic nature is to fill it with darkness. We start doubting ourselves and don’t think we can do the things we want to do.
I have a book on my reading list this month: “Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance” by Jonathan Fields. I haven’t read it yet, but the title spoke to me. We all have this dark little voice that says “you shouldn’t be doing this,” and it questions us and it causes us to have momentary twinges. But if you can fill the gap with light, all of a sudden it becomes a conquerable situation.
What are the gaps in your life? How are you filling those gaps? I highly recommend finding a coach to help you answer these questions. We can’t do it all by ourselves.
And let me know if you’ve read “Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance” and what you thought of it.